


i will wait for you

by beastdez



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4404665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beastdez/pseuds/beastdez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki suffered depression ever since his mother died. He starts to notice more and more about how Hide cares for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my best friend who ships them so hard as do I.   
> Sydney this is for you

"yo Kaneki." Hide said as he put his hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to look at him.  
"Yeah?" I asked as I closed the book I had just picked up.   
"You should come over tonight."   
Hide bounced in front of me so I definitely know he has something important to tell me. I gave him a soft smile. He just continued to bounce trying to leave me in suspense however I am not.  
"You know when you read that book and then they turned it into a movie and you know it was coming out on DVD ,and then at the store I saw it ,and then remember you had the book version so I thought I should get and since I don't read and you really liked it,I decided to get it so I could enjoy something you liked as well. So are you in or not, who am I kidding you could never say no to me." He said a little to fast.  
I sighed.  
"You should really organize your thoughts before you speak Hide, and just so you know books are normally better than the movies and not entirely the same."  
He puckered his lips at me and turned his head away. I gave a small laugh.  
"You're like a little kid."   
Hide looked offended, but I know he was not. He turned to me with that devil may care smirk I know all to well. I sighed. Hide knew all the ways to get me to do something, however; today I am not in the mood to put up a fight.   
"Sure lets watch the movie." I said as I put my books in my bag.  
Hide looked really shocked." Y-you serious. Normally I have to bribe you for you to do something."  
"Hide if your really excited for it then i'm all for it."  
I stood up and his smile brightened.  
"Alright!"   
Hide grabbed my hand and started pulling me along as if I couldn't walk on my own. Hide looked like a kid who was just told he could have a new toy. I sighed and let Hide pull me faster. I looked at our hands, how many times has those hands cared for me. When my world broke and I was left with cuts on my arms and heart, how many times has his hands put me back together. Who washed my cuts with care. Hide treated me like a jewel. Hide is and always will be my best friend. Hide is my anchor. He is the one person who I will allow to see my heart. I know its uncommon for guys to share their feelings, however; when you are like me and hide, you learn to be open or he forces it out.  
"Hey Kaneki have you been taking your depression medicine?"  
"mm-mm."  
"good."  
Hide is the only person I have to treat me with care. The only person I have in my life. When my mother died and the bullying started Hide protected me, he cared for me when no one else would. I really don't deserve a friend as sweet and kind as Hide. I smile thinking back on when we first met. So long ago when I didn't know anything about the sadness that would come in the future. I want to go back. To when Hide and me would play with toys and not care what happened. A tear rolls down my face and I quickly wipe it away before Hide saw. however Hide could probably feel me shaking. He released my hand and hugged me.  
"Shhhh its okay. tell me whats wrong. I knew something was up when you didn't put up a fight about the movie." Hide squeezed me tighter.   
I couldn't hold back the tears. I don't even know why i'm crying. I just was. Maybe my medicine was really wearing off. I wrapped my arms around Hide. I love the fact that we can hug like this and not feel weird. sometimes when we do hug I get really nervous and I don't know why either.   
"H-hide." I sobbed against his chest.  
"shhhh." He said as he just stroked my hair. "Its okay. I'm here. I'm right here, I promise your not alone." Hide whispered in his low voice.   
I can feel his hot breath against my ear, whispering those words to me. Reminding me that I don't even know why i'm crying. I'm crying for no reason. Why? Why am I sad? I don't understand. Why am I feeling sad?   
Tears just keep coming. Maybe its the fact that I was thinking about Hide. Normally when I think of Hide I get happy, or is it the fact that I was thinking about how I don't deserve a friend as sweet as Hide. I really don't. I deserve solitude.   
"Kaneki." Hide whispered.  
With only my name spoken I clung to Hide and cried harder. He didn't say anything else just let me cry. He didn't care we were under a bridge and people were probably staring at us he just held me. I was happy. Yet why am I crying. am I crying because m happy or is it something else.   
"Its okay." Hide continued to whisper to me.  
"I-I-imm o-o-okay." I said through chocked sobs.  
"No your not and its okay i'm here." Hide hugged me tighter. "I love you Kaneki."  
l-love me. Who could love me. I know hide does i'm his oldest friend. Aw. Wait why am sad by that. I should be glad that i'm his oldest friend. I slow my breathing. I manage to stop hiccuping.   
Once I settled down a bit more, Hide released me, but kept his hands on my shoulders.  
"Do you wanna go to a book store first?" Hide asked with the smile he only gives me to make me feel better. I give a small smile and nod.  
"Good don't worry i'll buy it." Hide said as he pulled me along.  
"Y-you don't have to, I-I have money" I stuttered out.  
"Oh hell no. I'm buying it and you cant stop me." He put his hands on his hips to prove how stubborn he is.  
He turned to me a gave me a soft smile. "I really do love you Kaneki. So please don't cry anymore."  
With the word love my heart thumped. wait. My heart thumped? what? God why did my heart-  
"So lets go." Hide held out a hand to me.   
I reached out to take it and then he started running pulling me along. Hide, you really are a child, but a child who can make my moods go from crying to sad to happy, all in a matter of seconds. Hide.


	2. Chapter 2

"you okay now Kaneki?" hide asked as we left the book store.  
"y-yeah book store really calm me."  
i got 4 new books. hide refused to let me pay said its the "least" he could do for me.  
"good. I'm glad." He gave me a side long look.  
He is trying to make sure I don't cry again. me crying always kind of scared hide. Scared i'm going over the edge.  
"you really okay?" Hide gave me a questioning look.  
"Yeah i'm fine. I promise"  
i'm not. I know i'm not. He knows i'm not. The world knows i'm not. I'm not fine and I never will be. I,m always going to be mentally unstable. One day i'm going to break down and I wont have hide to clean up the mess or the blood because he will have been scared off. I will be all alone once more. I will walk in this meat suit pretending there's not a war inside my head. That there's nothing wrong with me. That i'm just the shy kid who likes to read books. No one will see what is happening in my head. The words flew through my head, worthless, pathetic, loser, nerd, fat, ugly, no good, don't deserve to live. I cant. I stop walking. I just stand there. Tears welling up in my eyes. I force them down.  
"No. I'm not fine." I say while trying to keep my tears down.  
"It oka-"  
"NO! Its not okay." I sniffed. "I'm not okay."  
"I know but i'm here."  
"For how long?"  
He didn't answer he just looked at me.  
"How long will you put up with me?"  
I just stared at hide tears streaming down my face. He walked forward and grabbed my shoulder.  
"Shut up Kaneki. come on lets go watch the movie." He said as he wiped my eyes.  
He just smiled at me and pulled me along. I just walked with him. he smells nice. If sunshine has a smell it would be hide. Even if he might not be with me in the future I still cherish him. I need to get my act together, if I want to stay close to hide. When we get to my apartment I have calmed down but not a lot. I walk over to my medicine cabinet and get my pills. I take two and walk to the fridge to get me a water and Hide a soda.  
"Alright lets watch this bitch."Hide say as he puts the disk in.  
I walk to by him. Hide starts to chug one of them then hold up his arms in a victory triumph.  
"I swear your like a five year old." I say as I open my water  
"But i'm your five year old." Hide smiled up at me. I blush and looked away.

"The movie was good."Hide said as he stretched out.  
"The book was better."  
"Uggg of course it is but since I never read it this is as close as I can get."  
"Get to what?"  
"uhhhhh nothing." I gave him a confused look. He just looked away from me.  
ring ring. I picked up my phone.  
"Riza?"  
"tck."  
I answer the phone.  
"Hello Kaneki. I have a favor to ask."  
"A favor?"  
"Yes there's this author I like and he is doing a book signing I want to go but I don't want to go myself and Tsukiyama won't go with me. He has a dinner party to attend to. So would you please come with me."  
"Ah sure when is it?"  
"Monday."  
"Monday? mmm." It would be good to get out of the house. "Yeah okay i'll go."  
"Thanks Kaneki. I'll see you then."  
I hung up the phone. I turned to Hide who wasn't looking at me.  
"I don't like her." He says through clenched teeth.  
"Why."  
"Because she-" He didn't finish he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.  
He's kissing me. Oh god why is he kissing me. He bites at my lips to force them open. I don't know why but I opened them. I gave him access. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and explored. He put his hands underneath my shirt and placed them on my hip bones. His hands were really warm. He tasted good to. While we were kissing I didn't think about how sad I was. I was in bliss. I never knew my pain could be wiped away like this. It sounds weird but I never want to stop. I don't know why i'm not disgusted by it i'm just not. I just wrapped my arms around his neck,and pulled him closer. We kissed for several minutes. Then I feel the blood rush down. Why is my body responding like this. Oh god. He taste good.we need to stop before this gets dangerous. thankfully hide broke the kiss but placed his forehead on mine.  
"Because she will steal you from me." He places a kiss on my forehead. "I call you tomorrow to make sure you go change your medicine. but I have work." He releases me and grabs his stuff to leave.  
"I'm sorry Kaneki. I didn't mean to force myself on you I just didn't want her to win i'm so so sorry." And with that he left.  
"Don't be sorry." I whispered  
I cant get the feeling of his soft lips out of my head.


End file.
